How to Change Your Life Before the End of the Year!

Nov 4

Keep reading to learn how you can make a MASSIVE shift in your life before the end of 2021. Plus, you’ll learn what it takes to make lasting change and why we struggle with it as a society.

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Making Lasting Change

Before we pull back the curtain on how you can make the most of the rest of the year. We have to talk about change in general.

When you get divorced - it’s no secret that A LOT changes. Some things you might be open to changing and some things are definitely a FORCED change.

For example:

Where you live
The vehicle you drive
The amount of money you have in the bank
Your group of friends
How much you see your kids

And I can understand how most of you reading this might view change as a negative thing because you’ve been through a lot!

This leads us to our first topic…

The Truth About Change

As humans, most of us are very conditional beings…
If I do this…then I expect that.

It is innate in our minds and upbringing that just about everything is tied to a good or bad outcome. That everything is conditional.

We have these expectations for everything and when they aren’t met, that’s where our minds and emotions get off track. We get disappointed, frustrated, defeated, and the list goes on.

So you can see that when someone tries to make a change in their life and they aren’t seeing instant results or immediate success, it can be very convenient for them to revert back to their old habits. And even though that habit might not have been getting them anywhere, they at least know the outcome. And for the brain, that means it’s safe.

I think anyone that has tried a new diet can especially relate to this.

You know, the ones that promise that you’ll lose 10 pounds in a week? Do you remember how you felt on day 7 when those 10 pounds weren’t magically gone? Yep, probably pretty defeated.

Ok by now, you are probably thinking… this makes sense but what’s the workaround? How do we fix this?

The answer is: We have to start becoming more unconditional!

Becoming Unconditional

This means choosing…

Optimism not Pessimissim
Trusting not doubting
Looking for the good feelings, not the suspicious ones
Patting yourself on the back, not criticizing yourself

You must FEEL outside of those conditions! You know, the ones your brain is working SO hard to remind you of?

If you are letting conditions control your feelings then you don’t have control of your life and you will NEVER ever be happy. Because if conditions or outcomes control your feelings then you have to control conditions (which you can’t).

So this leads us back to feeling more unconditional.

Here’s an example of some “unconditional feelings” around the topic of business/career.

I help so many people on a daily basis through the work I do
I love that at the same time I am helping others I am at my best
I love my business because it adds to the economy
I love my business because I love watching it grow
I love the atmosphere of my office

All of those are unconditional statements.

When you can live in this state of being unconditional, you restore yourself to the confidence that comes naturally to you. And when you have that confidence, you can tap into being and feeling more unconditional.

By doing this, you detach yourself from only focusing on the outcome and you start to focus on the feeling!

From this place, you can feel strong and sure and eager for what’s coming next. This kind of energy shift will make ANY change that you want to make absolutely exhilarating! Because the more good feelings, you can point to this change and the more doubt and worry you can remove, the faster it will happen!

How You Can Shift Your Life Before the End of 2021

So in order to create this massive change in your life before the end of the year, pick 1 of the following categories.

These are what I consider the 8 categories of life:

Family
Career/business
Relationships
Health
Free Time
Financial
Spiritual
Personal Development

Now that you have your category, think about what you would most like to improve about that category.

When you do this, you must find something that doesn’t cause a pit in your stomach or a wince on your face. This has to be a BELIEVABLE achievement. Because, if you don’t believe it, your mind will do everything possible to remind you about all the ways you could never do, be or have that thing you want.

Let’s take health for example…

A popular goal might be to lose 10 pounds by January 1st. But that is very conditional and with all the holiday festivities coming up, that doesn’t seem very likely. And just thinking about that, you probably already feel a little bit of discomfort, and poof the goal is gone.

But if you choose something like... “I will move my body every day in a way that feels fun and supportive to my overall health”. That makes it a little easier.

Same with financials, saying “I will make a million dollars next month”, feels different than saying “next month will be a more prosperous month for me than this month”.

Listen to your emotions, listen to your gut! If that last statement is still making you go “Ummm, that’s not very likely”, then go more general. And keep going general until it feels achievable and something that you want to do!

Putting a timeline on something you want to achieve and then watching the clock tick down with nervous anxiety and noticing that it’s not happening, is not doing you any good!

The timeline is working against you. The conditions are working against you. The disbelief is working against you.

And so is the desperation. That feeling of absolutely needing something and being desperate about it is exactly what is keeping “it” away.

So if you find yourself feeling that way about money, love, friendships, or anything, you have to back off of it a little. Instead of wallowing in desperation… talk about how well things are going for you

.And please don’t tell me that absolutely nothing in your life is going well! There has to be one thing!

If you are struggling to pinpoint something that is going well, try saying this:

I know things are getting better for me

I like the feeling of when I can feel things in my life turn around

Won’t it be nice when things do get better

The key to ALL OF THIS is to feel good. The more you feel good, the more you are going to reinforce the behavior and the more momentum you will create - which is what actually creates change!

So if you can start feeling satisfied with what your current situation is and eager for what is to come… that will allow you to keep feeling good and not create feelings of disappointment around a conditional goal.

When shifting your life it is key to not focus on what you do not have but to focus on what you do have and on your sense of becoming.

Now if I went through the categories and you are stumped about what change you would like to make, then think about the biggest pain point in your life. Something you complain about or gives your anxiety or feelings of jealously. That very thing can point you to what needs addressing in your own life.

But What About All The Other Things I’ve Read About Goal Setting and Making a Change?

No single book or single process is right for everyone at every time in their life. That’s why some processes will aggravate your resistance and some process will soften your resistance. And only you will know.

The first step is to understand where you are in relation to where you want to be or who you want to be.

Then allow yourself to feel good in taking the steps to what you want.

Instead of this being a goal-achieving process let it be a goal-allowing process!

Imagine setting a goal and being happy on your way to achieving it? I bet it’s never felt like that in the past because you were so focused on what you don’t have that it felt tough and difficult. But why not relax and focus on what is working and what is bringing you joy along the way

If there were 10 things you wanted and 9 of them aren’t happening at all and you shift your focus to the one that is kinda happening, you would release all the resistance to the other 9 and allow them to all kinda start happening.

Focus on the good and the good gets better!

Most of us are programmed to find the ONE thing in life that isn’t going well and we give it 100% of our attention... Stop doing that! Because you eventually use that as an excuse and it causes all the good things that were actually happening to slow down or just stop.

Recap

Most of our lives have been based on conditions
In order to allow more good things in our lives, we must learn to become more unconditional
If things feel impossible try to go more general with them
When it comes to making a change - make sure you BELIEVE you can do it
And chase the good feelings that come along with your day to day success
Reinforce the good feelings and if you can’t seem to find them then get more general
Make sure your focus remains on what is going well… don’t get distracted by what isn’t going to plan
Focus on the good and the good gets better

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Thanks again for reading along and may the rest of your 2021 bring you big changes and even more joy!

britt scatena